About Me

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I'm Beth. I'm married to my best friend, and he's pretty awesome. We have two equally awesome kids, Gavin and Sophie.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Someone else's shoes

I will be the first to say I know nothing about politics. The reason for that is...I have no interest in them. I'm sure that I should. I'm an adult and an American so I should know what's going on in our country. But we can't change that right now, so let's get past that. I don't think that anyone can come in and have a magic fix-all to VOILA make everything in our country sunshine and rainbows. I don't know the specifics of this new healthcare bill, because I haven't wanted to research it. However. I daily read statuses and comments on facebook that get under my skin. I in no way think it is a true statement to say that people who don't have, or can't afford, health insurance, don't deserve it. Not everyone on government assistance is a low life. Not everyone without a job, or receiving aid from the government is lazy, or a criminal. And I think sometimes, people fail to realize this. I may not have understood this until I was in the situation. I'm not asking people to change their beliefs, at all. I'm just asking for some understanding. And some courtesy. Everyone I'm friends with on facebook is there for a reason. Its because I actually, at some point, have actually liked the person. Reading such mean things makes me like them a little less. I'm not singling out the people against this healthcare reform as the only ones who bug me. But this is the most recent thing, and something that people seem to be most passionate about lately, and its a subject that I am sensitive about. Say you disagree, that is great! I love living in a country where everyone is entitled to believe whatever they want! Can you just try and put yourself in someone else's shoes? I don't have healthcare. Neither does my husband. We can't afford it. Our kids have healthcare, luckily, because we receive it for them through state assistance. I am not saying this is ideal, because its not, but I am very thankful that they aren't without coverage. According to the government, we make too much money to have state assistance for myself or my husband. Yes, even though we are on unemployment right now. There is a program where you can get state assistance healthcare that you pay for each month, unfortunately, they are no longer taking applications because they are full. When my husband was working his full time job, his company did not even offer a healthcare plan. We were pretty much stuck. I had insurance at my job. Which I had to quit, on my doctor's advice, when I was just a few months pregnant because I was so sick that I couldn't work. We don't need to discuss my family's decisions or anything like that. I do want to say that we are good people. We aren't criminals, we are law-abiding citizens. I don't even download music illegally. :P We pay taxes. We pay our bills on time and we take really good care of our kids. We teach them to follow rules and be kind to others. And I just wish everyone else could be kind, as well. Please think about how you would feel if you had no access to healthcare. Its pretty scary. If something went terribly wrong, we have no coverage. If I got a serious illness, we have no coverage. Do you think that makes me feel good? Or secure? I just don't want to read how in some people eyes, I suck. I'm not on the side of the liberals, I'm not on the side of the conservatives. And personally, I think to be so set in one way or the other is missing the point. I would really hope that people could budge a little, if "their side" wasn't going the right way. I know many Republicans who would really believe a Republican leader if they said it rains lemonade. I know Democrats who are the same way...if Obama said the sky is green, they would be the first to try to convince everyone that that statement is true. I'm sure this is a little rambling. I just feel sensitive about the whole issue. Can I say it again? Let's just try and put ourselves in the "other side's" shoes sometimes.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Step-parent Day

Has anyone else wondered why there isn't a Stepmom's Day? If you automatically dismiss this idea, then you are definitely not a stepmom, or you are not close to anyone who is a stepmom. I can tell you, from personal experience and also from observation, that it is an extremely tough job. I have the priviledge of being both a stepmom and a "regular" mom, so I can compare the two roles. First off, you have to deal with being in a child's life when their mom may not really want you there. This is their prerogotive to feel this way, I suppose. I mean, I don't think I'd like some woman filling a mom role in Sophie's life, I can't really judge because I've never been in that situation. However, it is still very, very hard to deal with. Let's face it, women have strong emotions. This is not the point of my post though, so we won't discuss whether its right or wrong for them to fight your role in their child's life. Let's just say its a very hard part of being a stepmom. Secondly, you have to deal with loving a child more than you feel you're allowed to. Does that make sense? In my situation, this is the case. I feel like in the eyes of my stepson's other household, I'm not really allowed to love him. Which is sad, because I of course do. I know he is not my biological child, but he is my husband's son, my daughter's brother...and a sweet little boy. So I love him as part of our family. You have to deal with having a part of your family leave for periods at a time. That is a really hard one. Holidays are never "normal". I have to figure out how to convey to my daughter why her Bubba leaves for nine days at a time, and, recently, we have to get her to not be afraid to hug and kiss him, because hugging and kissing him, to her, means he's leaving. We have to deal with his hurt because he doesn't understand why his little sissy is acting that way toward him. You have to fill the mom role...making school lunches, making sure teeth get brushed and baths get taken, taking temperatures and kissing owies, while not getting the same recognition and reward as "Mom". Who else thinks we need a Stepmom Day? I think it should be in January. Right after having to deal with the drama surrounding the major holidays that definitely comes with this role. I'm not trying to say I, as a stepmom, am entitled to more than moms. I am a mom, too. They are just very different roles to play in life. I never realized how it would be to have this title. Growing up many, many friends of mine had step-parents. Its something that just seemed normal. Of course you never think about what a hard experience it is until you go through it first hand. All this being said (complained about?) I would not change my involvement in Gavin's life for anything. Sure being a stepmom brings extra headaches, heartaches, problems, etc. But it also brings so much more love than I could have experienced otherwise! Just before I started writing this, we had an indepth conversation about a Lego coffeemaker he had just put together. Who would want to miss out on that?!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Why a giant rabbit and chocolate eggs?

Today is Easter. Yesterday on a trip to Target, I noticed how commercial Easter has become. The store was packed, and most of the traffic was grumpy, rushed looking people. I saw countless people in the toy section, buying enough that you'd think it was Christmas (which has become too commercial, as well, but not the topic today), and the special Easter section (mostly candy) was stuffed with people frantically digging through what was left of the bags of candy, yelling at their kids, and giving the evil eye to anyone who cut in front of them. I even saw a lady give my sweet little girl a mean look for geting in her way. Is this really the point?? Did Jesus get crucified, and on the third day, rise again as the Easter bunny? The answer to that is of course no, and everyone knows that, but does everyone remember the point of Easter in the first place? I think not. Easter isn't to celebrate spring, and it isn't to fill up on sugar, buy new dresses, and get lots of toys. In the words of a good friend of mine, Jesus didn't die on the cross so I could get a new iPod. Do you know how important this day is? Christmas is important, because its the celebration of Jesus' birth. But Jesus birth wouldn't mean nearly as much to us without Easter. Jesus, God's son, was without sin, perfect. He took our sins upon himself and paid our debt by dying on the cross. In that way, our sins, which we could never pay for, were erased. He did this, something none of us deserve, and rose again on the third day so that no one needs to be separated from God's love. No one is good enough for that gift, but now everyone can receive it. No matter what you've done, said, felt, thought, let happen...Jesus paid it off for you. I'm forgiven, because He was forsaken. That to me means more than any candy or presents. That is reason to celebrate. I'm not saying you can't celebrate this fact and have some delicious Cadbury eggs as well, but lets spend a little less time focusing on ourselves and our wants, and focus on the new life we've been given. Christ the Lord is risen today! Happy Easter!