About Me

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I'm Beth. I'm married to my best friend, and he's pretty awesome. We have two equally awesome kids, Gavin and Sophie.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013


On this day where I'm really hating this shared parenting thing and feeling so overly frustrated, I am struggling.  I'm trying to remind myself that I am SO blessed and I have to admit, its really hard to remember this sometimes.
Today sucks in some aspects.
But I have a sweet husband who would do anything for me and the kids.  He would work his hands to the bone if he had to to take care of us.  
I have an awesome step son who I've gotten to watch grow up for the past 6 years who is super kind hearted and loving, just like his dad.
I have a sweet baby girl that has a tender heart and is hilarious and keeps us on ours toes.
I get to stay home and take care of my family and watch the kids grow and change.
I get to live in this pretty neat house with enough room to have the animals and garden we want, to help us feed our family.
I have wonderful parents and siblings and nieces and nephews.
We are all healthy! 

^^^^ That's a lot of stuff to be thankful for.  And to top it all off...I have coffee.
Okay, I feel better now. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The impossible quest for grown up friends

My sister's BFF posted this clip from Seinfeld on her facebook recently, and it inspired me to write this post.  It fit perfectly how I feel.  See, I have some "best friends" (which reminds me, I do believe that "best friend" is not a title held just by one person)...but they live thousands of miles away. (Maybe. I'm not good with distance/geography.)  They also are friends I made as a 4 year old, and a very young adult.  What makes young adult different than now? A lot. I was single, I had no kids, and I was still (relatively) cool.  Of course the friend circa 1986 was the easiest friend I ever made.  We had stuff in common: we were friends. *see video clip, if you didn't watch it.  By the way, why didn't you?
So, here I am now, 30.  I am married, with kids, and I'm a stay at home mom.  I feel like all those things are negatives against me, at least in the 'making friends' area.  Some people would think "oh, that's not true! Make friends with the parents of your kids' friends!"  Uh, have you tried that?  I mean its awesome when that works. For reals.  But I take Sophie to dance class and just...no.  And you know, there are probably lots of other moms that feel this way but we don't have an identification system worked out, so how do you know who feels the same as you, and who is just rolling in the friends and as happy as can be, and has no room for any other friends?  HOW DO YOU KNOW?  When I was younger that wasn't something I ever thought about.  I don't know why its the deal now.  But it so is! I have some acquaintances, some casual friends...but I miss having those friends who are so close that you know everything about each other, and you can be *real*.  Friends who will just come over whenever they want and walk into my house like they live here because that's how close we are.  Its been a long time since I had that and I miss it dearly.  My BFF/roommate from my early 20s and I did everything together.  We talked about everything, we knew everything each other was feeling.  But now we live states apart and we both are lame and have husbands and kids so...womp womp.  I like to think that if she lived down the street things would be the same as they used to be.  My best friend from childhood and I still talk nearly every day thanks to the wonder that is facebook, and I am so grateful for that.  That's 26 years of friendship!  You don't get that often.
But how do you just learn to be real with friends at this age?  How do you allow yourself to go from acquaintance to REAL FRIEND?  I do not know the answer and it seems as if its some sort of riddle.  I don't think I know how to let my guard down.  There's this thing with appearances, etc., that I get hung up on.  I'm not sure exactly how to explain it.  But I didn't feel it when I was younger.  Do they want you to be a surface friend?  In my head, the answer is yes. In my head, everyone already has their "close friend" quota and I'm not needed.
Whine whine.  Its hard! I'm glad at least that Jerry Seinfeld sorta knows how i feel.  A little.  

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Getting back to the important things...

The last time I wrote a blog post, I didn't get to write about the good, new things happening in our lives.  We've had a lot of changes this year and the bad wasn't what I necessarily wanted to share first.  So onto the good stuff that really matters.

This year we got an awesome house.  Even better, we ended up getting to move into it the weekend between Ernie's and my birthdays, so it was like the best birthday present ever. (On the down side, we're not sure really how to ever try to top that with gifts again so...)
Oddly enough, this wasn't anything we even talked about before getting married, but as it turns out God matched us up perfectly because we both wanted to live a farm life.  I guess neither of us really thought that was something that was ever going to happen, so we didn't really discuss it.  Once we did, we discovered it was something we both were into.  But it always seemed like it was going to be in a "once the kids are grown up" kinda way.  
Amazingly, everything has come together so much earlier in life than we ever thought.  We are still amazed that we are living the life we have dreamed of.  As I sit here in the den, I can look out the window and look at my 6 different types of chickens and my 5 big fluffy ducks as they happily peck around in their yards.  Past that I can see the neighbors horses and our huge line of evergreen trees.  And to make everything better...I can't hear a thing.  Its so peaceful.  It may seem kinda silly that farm animals are peaceful to watch.  And maybe we are just huge nerds (okay, no maybe there), but we could hang out there and watch them and be perfectly content.  My sister in law, while visiting, even said "it seems like you guys have really just found your calling!"  And that is putting it perfectly.  
This is what we were meant to do!  We love it.  All the hard work is so worth it.  I love raising the kids in this environment.  I love that they get to go out each day and collect eggs, and that Sophie cooks those eggs every morning.  Its important to me and I think its things like that, that are so easy to get disconnected from.  I love so much that the kids are learning hard work.  They may not always like it :) but I believe their lives will be so much richer from it.

This year has been awesome.  I can't wait to see what else is in store. I can't wait to continue growing here in our home and expanding our "farm".  Living off our own land is something we have dreamed about and I believe that little by little we can get there.  We've just planted several fruit trees that will hopefully begin producing for us in a couple years.  Soon, Ernie will plant his garden.  In the years to come we'll add more livestock, and add more and more to the garden.  Along the way we'll continue teaching the kids about taking care of the earth we live on, and learning how to care for these animals we raise as food, how to grow their own food and how to best nourish their bodies with it.  Something I never realized, growing up, would end up being so important to me.  I feel as if its my duty to do this the best way possible and I'm so blessed to have a husband who feels the same way.
Its time for me to wrap this up: I have baby chicks to take care of. :)