Saturday, December 15, 2012
What family means to me.
The past couple of months have brought lots of changes for our family. I'd love to write a post about all the good stuff, (because there's a lot of it!) but heavy on my heart right now is the crappy stuff.
We always have one aspect of our lives that is not the best. And that's just something we have to deal with. But one thing that, at least in my mind, remain constant, is family.
Family to me means a lot of things. It means safety. People come into your life, some stay, some don't...but family should be the constant. They are supposed to be permanent. Along with that permanence comes acceptance, unconditional love, and being there for one another. Supporting each other. Taking everything about the other person and saying "all of that is okay. I love you anyway. Even if you're not perfect." Its sharing with each other and having each other's back. Its knowing the details of each other's lives and keeping it to yourself. Keeping things in the family. Knowing that family comes first. Its being able to share with each other and know that the whole world isn't going to be talking about you. Its knowing that you're accepted and what you see is what you get.
I always have had that with my family. We are definitely not perfect, but I have been sure of the fact that they love me. I know that if I share something with them, it'll stay with them. I know that I have their support and prayers. I know that if I share happy news with them, they'll keep that in the family, as well. They'll let me live my life as an adult with a family of my own and still be my family, without being meddling busybodies. Without judging the way I live my life and or the way my husband and I raise our children.
I just thought that's how families were.
I didn't know that what I have is a huge blessing, and something that isn't as common as I'd assume.
Sometimes, there are families or family members who don't have, or don't know how to have, unconditional love. Sometimes they don't understand the sacredness of family. And that's sad to me.
Its got my stomach in knots knowing that, even with the tragic news yesterday -- that many families have no choice, they will never see their sweet babies again -- that someone could make a conscious decision to not see family members again because of their pride. My sweet babies are two of the biggest blessings in my life. They are bright spots in this dark world and just because of petty things and because someone can't have their own way in our lives (our adult life, with our own family to raise how we feel best), they are choosing to leave the lives of my kids and not know them anymore.
It hurts, and its sad. Very sad for my kids, but also sad for that person. Sad that their life is that way. I don't want to slander someone, I don't want to air dirty laundry, but I just want to share that this is unfathomable to me. We have to let it happen because ultimately, we have to protect and nurture our children. We have to raise them the way we see fit and the best way we know. We have to provide love and happiness for them, not manipulation and poison. We can't allow them to be jerked around. We can't allow them to learn that is what family is about.
its a sad day today. But tomorrow is a different day, and we'll just use that as a new beginning. We, here in this household, love each other unconditionally. And that's what I want to teach my children.
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