We have a writer!

I'm not sure if this really warrants a blog post, but I am a mom, so -- it should be expected. :)  I'm not sure where this is on the development timeline for a 3 year old, but I am SUPER excited that Sophie wrote her name today all by herself!  In school we're still just working on the beginning of the alphabet, shapes, and a couple numbers.  She's seemed to be slower at getting how to write letters, etc., which has been fine because I know everyone develops different stuff more easily.  I learned to read early and with ease, and math came later.  Or okay, lets face it, I still can't do math.
Anyway, last week I think it was, Sophie wrote random letters on a paper she was coloring on, so I decided well, she can verbally spell her name, lets see how she does with the letters.  So I've been writing it out for her, hoping she'd get it.  She will say it very quickly, but, as with ALL writing, she has been hesitant.  Come to find out, she's just being STUBBORN, once again.  I was in the bathroom drying my hair today and she came in and yelled at me "MOM I wrote an S!"  I came out to see and sure enough, she did.  She also had followed it with O - P - H - I - E.  Little trickster.  I am so proud of my little stinker!

When she thinks its HER choice...

Sophie is a stubborn little fart.  I have absolutely NO idea where she got that from....

Moving on.  Today she said to me several times that she thought we were going to go to McDonalds and get a mcflurry.  Which is funny, because I never said any such thing, and I have no idea where she got the idea.  If she was trying to convince me I actually said that, then she gets points for thinking that up.  However, it didn't work.  She wasn't too happy that she couldn't have junk food for dinner, and I have had a bad headache for the better part of 4 hours, which pushed all ideas for dinner out of my brain. 
So I decided Sophie should pick something out.  I had her look in the cabinets and in the fridge, and she chose: a zucchini, bacon, green onions, artichoke hearts, and grape tomatoes.  I added eggs and mixed that all up for her, and she couldn't have been happier!  The ice cream was forgotten and she was very pleased with herself that she 'planned' dinner.  She ate it all up, no complaining, and giggled the whole time. 
As long as she thought dinner was her choice, she was happy with it.  And I will say, that she eats paleo food with MUCH less complaining than she does 'regular' food.  If she were to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I would have to remind her to keep eating about 147 times during the meal.  Stir fried veggies though, and some awesome protein, and she's done faster than I am!  *Especially* if she helps cook it. 

by chef Sophie

And I'm really happy about that!

Medical woes...

I had my follow up appointment with my nurse practitioner today, to go over the results of my thyroid scan I had last week.  I told Ernie I would cry if they didn't find any thyroid problems --meaning, I want an explanation of *why* I am unable to lose weight, no matter what I do.  I don't want to have a medical problem, but if its something that could give me some answers, I'd rather that be the case. 
I did not go back on my word.  I cried in the NP's office.  Super.  Luckily she was very nice to me about it.  Apparently they still can't understand the source of the problem. I do, however, have a nodule on my thyroid, and they don't know what its from.  I have to go back for another scan in 6 months, and if it has grown at all, I have to have surgery to biopsy it.  When she told me about the nodule, she started asking me all about my mom's cancer, and what type of cancer she had, and when, etc.  So that was a little scary.  She ordered a few more blood tests, which I had drawn at my appointment (and Sophie watched, she's a weirdo - just like her momma).  I guess I'll find out about those in a week or two...but the bottom line is, this was yet another medical appointment, more money spent, and no answers found. 
She told me to cut out processed foods.  Uh check, did that a while ago.  She told me to not eat junk food.  OKay yeah, I know that (valentine's candy didn't count :)).  Don't drink pop.  I don't!  I also don't eat grains.  Or dairy.  Or anything else that could contribute whatsoever to any sort of weight GAIN...and the way we eat definitely should contribute to weight LOSS.  I am personally at a loss and I feel quite a bit of -- despair I guess would be the word.  I don't sit on my couch all day long eating junk food.  I work out.  I eat right.  I drink a ridiculous amount of water.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Mayleo

Okay here is the quite delicious paleo mayo that I made. 

I followed the directions from Nom Nom Paleo, who is much funnier than me and also seems to be a much better cook.  I figured if that's the way she said to do it, it would work.  And, it did!  My ingredients aren't quite the same as she suggests, but what I used was tasty, so here ya go!

(I will say, these measurements are approximate.  I don't really always use measuring spoons/cups, but this is a good estimate. :) )

*4 egg yolks

*1 tsp sea salt

*1 tsp yellow mustard

*4 tsp white vinegar

*3-4 tsp lemon juice

*3 cups olive oil

1. Combine all but the oil in a bowl

2. Whisk for about 30 seconds, until yolk has thickened

3. Add 1 cup olive oil in a slow steady stream while whisking like crazy (about 1 minute)

4. Add the 2nd cup of olive oil in the same way (your arm will most likely be killing you by now)

5. Add the last cup of oil all at once

6. Whisk whisk whisk!

It'll get thick and mayo-like -- voila you're done!  In my opinion, this is better than the mayo you buy at the store.  As our friend Nick pointed out, it looks like mashed up peeps because its pretty bright yellow. :) 



Contentment

I have been sitting here, watching the kids run around our entire house.  Sophie is wearing nothing but a tutu and mismatched socks, carrying a hula hoop and chasing Gavin screaming "Come here you freak! I'm gonna get you! Hop in the circle!"  I feel oddly content.  Oddly, because they're being pretty loud, and - thanks to the m&ms they got earlier - wild.  However, no one is pestering me, no one is arguing, they are just 100% delighted with whatever it is they think they are doing.  And I love it.

I have often wondered about the quality of their childhood.  Gavin for obvious reasons, because he goes back and forth between houses.  I was blessed enough to never have to do that.  My parents are still married after 45 years.  I don't know what growing up like that would even feel like, and I wish that I could empathize with him a little, just because I can't say things like "I know how you feel", because I don't.  I want him to know that we understand this life isn't the most ideal without making him think he should feel awkward about the life he has.  I know he's used to it, because its been his life the majority of the time he's been on this earth.  It still doesn't mean its fair.
I also have worried about Sophie, because her life isn't traditional, either.  She has a big brother - and I understand that he is technically her half brother, but this in all honesty is something I only completely realized recently.  I have never thought of them as "half" anything.  He is her bubba and she is his sissy and that's just how its been.  However, her big bubby that she loves so much is here and then gone for a period of time, then comes back...and it goes on and on in that cycle.  That is hard on her.  We also had a long period of time where her daddy was laid off and on unemployment, and things were hard.  Things still are hard -- that's how it is for a lot of people nowadays.  We have a lot of struggles, monetary sure but definitely more so in other areas.  I have worried about the effect these things have on her quality of life.  Recently I voiced these concerns to Ernie and he said..."the hard times are only hard for us."  The amount she feels and understands the difficulties and burdens our family has is the amount we allow into her life.  I don't think kids should think life is perfect.  I don't think they should believe that parents never argue and everything is just wonderful as can be.  However, discussing it with my honey made me realize what he said is true: Sophie has a happy life.  Daddy was unemployed for a large amount of time -- hard on us, but for her, she had her daddy around to play with a lot.  She has a daddy who is such a good parent -- she has unlimited access to mommy, since my full time job is to be home with her and take care of her.  She has a big brother she loves.  She has food and clothes and shelter.  She gets to learn and do crafts and go to the park and have a dog...she has extended family who loves her and she gets to experience a lot of awesome things, like going camping, and going hiking in the mountains, and going clam digging, and crabbing, and learning how to cook.  She laughs every day and she feels loved and safe every night when she gets tucked into bed.  She knows every night I'll sing her "Good night Sweetheart" and that every morning we'll be here when she wakes up. 
Seeing life through their eyes I think yeah...our life is pretty good.  And I feel content in that.

Take Two!

Alright, here I go again...
So the first Whole30, as I mentioned, was a failure. :(  It was going GREAT until Mother Nature intervened.  And there are supposed to be NO EXCUSES...but unfortunately, I'm using one, and that's just how its going to have to be.  At least I'm getting back on track. 
I've replaced a lot of the food we lost from the fridge and freezer -- thanks Safeway for your buy one get one free meat sale today.  :)  I also have about 15 pounds of moose meat in the freezer now (Thanks, Uncle Pat).  I hate how expensive veggies can be, but there are the biggest staple in this house.  Makes me want to cry having to replace that kinda stuff!  But, we're back to it and starting tomorrow AM, Whole30 take two is on like donkey kong.  I'm leaving Ernie a note to read when he gets home from work so he'll be informed he's starting again too. :)  (Maybe I should phrase it like a question and not a commandment...)
I feel really bad that my first go around didn't make it all 30 days.  But I have decided I can't dwell on it.  I could sit around and feel really down on myself and feel like a failure and beat myself up, or I can look back to my goals I set and get back on track.  Its different than some other "diet" goal that would be commonly made at New Years.  This is the lifestyle I want to live, and it is like night and day when I am living that way. Having processed foods, gluten, grains, dairy, sugars...I feel like C R A P.  I never noticed before because I was SO ridiculously used to it.  So much so that I craved those things.  Yuck!  Cutting all of that garbage out of my daily life made me realize how bad I was actually feeling.  It was common occurance for me to have muscle aches, joint aches, *bad* headaches, stomach aches...no joke, every. single. day I felt cruddy in some way.  I took far too much ibuprofen for far too many pains and it was miserable.  I realized that I hadn't take any pain medicine since the start of the year!  Miracle!  I had a headache when we first started because I had caffeine withdrawal, but I had also committed to myself that I wouldn't take any medication, so I powered through it and after that, I felt awesome.
Falling off the wagon showed me just how crappy I felt NOT eating paleo, so I am even more jazzed to get back to it.  Tomorrow is Day 1, and I am excited to feel good every day and be the best mom I can be.  The absolute number one best part is Sophie loving her paleo food and wanting to be active and 'eskersize' just like me.  Love it!

Snow Storm. And the importance of electricity.

Last week's snow storm was pretty ridiculous.  Gavin didn't have to go to school all week!  I can't believe how much snow we got, but the powerful wind and ice was what made everything come to a halt.  Washington state has so many beautiful trees, everywhere.  All different kinds, but of course tons of huge evergreens.

  My neighborhood is covered in them.  Very pretty, but not very safe when there's a storm.  All over this area when the ice and wind came, trees came crashing down all over, and most destructively into power lines.  Last time I called Puget Sound Energy they said over 260,000 customers were without power.  Thursday morning before 7 am our power went out.

Sophie started crying and I thought she might be scared, because it was still dark outside we it was black in the house.  Why was she crying? She wanted to watch tv.  Silly girl.  At least we know what her priorities are.  After about an hour without any power coming back, we woke Ernie up to let him know.  We decided to call his parents, and they still had power. So, we packed up a few things and went over there, because it was really cold and snowy and we didn't want to be stuck here with no idea when we'd get power/heat back on.  By the time we got there, their power had gone out, too.  Luckily they have a generator and a propane fireplace so we were living pretty good in the storm!  Sophie was even able to watch a movie (important, you know)!  We had buckets under the downspouts so we'd have water to flush the toilets, and that was a pretty big pain.  I'm glad I had Ernie around to lug the water back and forth...if you know me at all, you know I have a well -- relatively small bladder. :)  ANYWAY, we just assumed the power would be on the next day.  Not so!  Tree limbs kept breaking and there were downed power lines everywhere.

  So we stayed.  Sophie of course had a ball.  She had things to play with, she had grandma and papa Steve's undivided attention, and she's not an adult so she's not so concerned with showering.  I think she probably thought it was a pretty fun adventure. 

  I am very thankful that I was able to keep my family fed and warm...however, the biggest bummer to me: we fell off our Whole30 wagon.  :(  We were about what..18 days into it?  And doing awesome. However, when the power went out, I had ingredients, but nothing made.  The biggest thing we had in mind when we started this was NO CHEATING no matter what!  No way did I think there would be this big power outage and storm, so we were not prepared.  I felt sad about it, but now that the power is back on we can get right back on the horse! (Oh wait, I said it was a wagon...)  One good thing to come out of that though, was I realized how freaking SICK gluten, grains, processed sugar and dairy and any other processed food is.  I ate whatever we could make and my guts were torn up inside!  I got headaches and stomach aches and felt really bloated...whereas, I haven't had ANY of those things all month before we 'cheated'.  So that's kind of neat/interesting to know. 

Ernie and I had plans for several weeks to go to the ocean Friday.  We don't like to miss a clam tide and we already had it planned out, and Sophie was going to stay with grandma.  Well, since we were already there, Sophie stayed and Ernie and bundled up and made our way to Westport. Several people thought we were cuckoo because of the snow and the storm and everything, but it was pretty nice!  The closer you get to the ocean, the less snow there is, and so everyone there had electricity.  It was frigid, yeah, but that was tolerable.  We got to go around to gift shops which were lit and nice and warm.  We even got some warm food, and brought jugs of water back home from their non-depleted grocery store.  PLUS, we got 2 crabs and 12 clams, and Saturday night we were able to make a nice big batch of clam chowder on the butane camping stove. Can't get much better than that!

However, that many days without showers is pretty disgusting. The only blessing was that EVERYONE was in the same situation, so no one could really tell how bad you stunk, because everyone stunk.  I don't remember ever going 4 days without a shower, not even after my appendectomy or my c-section.  I just felt sick.  Last night when we got home after the power was finally restored, I got to take a shower.  Seriously the best thing EVER.  I wanted to stay in the shower for as long as possible, it was just so delightful. 

We were so excited to be clean, and have on clean clothes, and have lights.  Ernie and I cooked some actual FOOD on the real stove, and turned on netflix to find something to watch.  Then I realized it was pretty cold.  Lo and behold...our heater won't come on.  I checked the fuse box and everything was okay.  We checked the switches on the furnace, and they're okay too.  So we got out portable heaters (good thing we procrastinate, we still have our neighbors' heater from a while ago, even though I've been meaning to take it back.) and sat down to watch a movie.  Then CLICK, the tv, ps3, and living room lights went out.  Everything else was still on...so I checked the fuse box AGAIN.  Now something was flipped off. So we fixed it, and then it happened AGAIN.  Annoying, but we have just decided to go try and watch something in our room.  We got in there, and then the tv in THERE and the heater we had plugged in switched off.  And I think all this upset me more than the major power outage!! Maybe I was at the end of my rope and I didn't know it.  But having the power come back and thinking all the problems were over and now having our furnace not working sort of sent me over the edge.  Then we got up this morning and I realized it kept switching our dryer off too, so all our clothes I was so happy to wash last night are STILL soaking wet.  Argh! 

This whole long drawn out story to say...not much.  But it was a big deal to us so I wanted to at least record it!  Now I'm just sitting here waiting on the electrician, bundled up in my only clean clothes: pink striped pj pants, a tie dyed shirt, and a blue zip up hoody.  I look gooood.

But at least I don't stink!