I guess this makes me a typical woman...

Last night it was just Sophie and me at home.  She asked me if we could go to Joe's (the convenience store near our neighborhood) so I said sure.  We hopped in the car -- she got to wear her jammies which she thought was the best thing ever -- and went to Joe's and she got a snack and a drink.  Joe's is also a gas station, but I didn't get gas because I got gas the day before!  In fact I didn't even look at the gas gauge.
Oh yeah...but I guess I forgot that the day before, I only got 20 bucks in gas because the pump was super slow and I didn't want to be late getting Gavin to school.  And then I drove quite a few places.  And I have a Yukon.  20 bucks doesn't go far.  Joe's is honestly about 5 minutes away, and we were on the main street of our neighborhood when I definitely ran out of gas. 
I used to pride myself that I never had run out of gas.  Now it has happened to me 3 times.  This is just embarrassing.  I like to think that my truck is partially to blame.  The needle on the gas gauge likes to float around.  This time, however, was totally my fault, I just had a brain fart. 
Ernie was at work and would be the rest of the night, but LUCKILY I remembered we now have AAA!  Oh what a wonderful thing to remember.  I called, they sent a guy out and he put some gas in for me.  Sophie was wonderful while we waited for him to show up -- she just ate her snack and drank her drink and waved at all the other cars driving by. 
I haven't even told Ernie yet. I'm not looking forward to being heckled.  But thanks AAA!  I love you guys!

Warm Fuzzies

I just want to say I love my kids.  They are just such a huge source of joy.  Of course, they're a huge source of headaches, too...:)  But the joy overrides that.  I was just sitting here thinking about how cute they are together and how thankful I am that Sophie has Gavin as a big brother. I don't think I could ask for a better big bubba for her.  I love overhearing them talking to each other and playing.  Yesterday I heard this conversation:

S: "Gavin, do you want to share some of my candy with me?"

G: "No thanks."

S: whiny sounding, "but bubba, I just love you so MUCH!"

G: "okay, sure, I'll share some."

S: "hooray!"

That just made my heart all warm and fuzzy. :)  Ernie and I were just talking about how we have two really big-hearted kids, and that is just one illustration to me of how its true.  The reason we were having that conversation is I was frustrated how Sophie gets so hurt so easily over any little thing (which sounds familiar...), and he brought up that it is because she is so caring and sensitive and big-hearted.  So I guess I'll take the downside of that to be able to experience her sweet caring spirit the rest of the time. <3  What sweethearts I get to spend time with every day!!

MEN

Its been a while since I posted, and since my brain isn't organized enough today to actually put thoughts together for the posts I want to write, here is something funny instead:

the truth to understanding men:


"IT'S A GUY THING"

Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."



"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

... Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"



"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"

Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.



"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated: "I have no idea how it works."



"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."



"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."



"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translated: "Are you still talking?"



"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."



"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."

Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."



"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."



"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."



"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated: "What did you catch me at?"



"I HEARD YOU."

Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."



"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."

Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."



"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."

Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."



"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

They're just down there right now, shivering!

I was going to finally get around to making a post today about our family camping trip we took last weekend, but I had to instead write about this!

As many of you know, Gavin is one of the pickiest eaters on the planet.  Now, when I say that, its not like 'oh yeah, my kid's a picky eater'.  He SERIOUSLY is a picky eater. I mean, he has some sort of serious phobia about a ton of foods.  Getting him to eat healthy foods is a constant battle, and new foods -- forget it.  Its extremely frustrating and sad to me, because 1)I like to cook and 2) its so hard to get the nutrition into him that I know he so needs. 
Anyway, he had told Ernie he'd try some stuff from our garden, because we grew it ourselves, and I don't know if that's less scary to him or what.  Whatever the reason, I was very happy to hear it but had my doubts.  He says he'll try something and then he'll freeze up and just can't do it.  This past week we were having a bunch of vegetables, and he was eating cucumbers (which are one of the few veggies he will eat).  Since we had some cut up zucchini that I had just picked, I gave him a piece and told him it was pretty much like the cucumber he was eating.  And...

HE ATE IT.

Big deal, your kid ate a piece of zucchini.  No, really, its a HUGE deal.  I was so shocked I just stood there for a minute, speechless.  If we are successful in getting something new down his throat, its not before there is a big deal made, crying, threats of privileges being taken away, etc.  I was so excited that he willingly ate it, no problems. 
So I came up with an idea.  I told him that I would keep track, and when he has tried 5 new healthy foods, he will get a reward.  I'm not usually one for bribing kids to do stuff they should already be doing.  But this is sort of a different circumstance.  And he seemed pretty excited about the prospect so we're giving it a try.  I actually thought it would probably take the rest of the year or more to make it to 5, but yesterday at lunch, he tried a nectarine.  He was more apprehensive about this one -- it sat on his plate through our whole lunch, until he had no other food left to distract him.  He stared at it for a while, but the important part is, he eventually tried it.  It wasn't his favorite thing, but he also didn't die (something he seems to think will happen if he tries something different).  And I don't care if he LIKES what he's trying, as long as he gives it a good try before refusing it by saying "I don't like that".  He has to know he doesn't like it from experience, not just because it seems weird. 

Then came the biggest shock of all.  We picked several things from the garden last night.  One thing Gavin picked was two cayenne peppers.  We were eating dinner and somehow it came up that he would try one.  I totally believed he was just teasing.  I mean, I will not even eat those.  Ernie had them on his plate, and there Gavin went: he actually ATE a bite of cayenne pepper.  This kid that's afraid of homemade hamburgers.  Seriously!?  I was so freaking shocked.  And that is when I knew hell must have frozen over. 
The first bite he said was fine, so he took a second bite and got a seed -- okay so then he wasn't too pleased.  2 glasses of milk, a piece of bread, and a spoon of sugar later he was fine, and more importantly, he had tried something extremely different and made it through!
I am so incredibly proud of him! 

Mom-Brain

Perfect, perfect example of the entire point of this post: I had a hard time not typing "mom brian". 
None of you thinks mom brain is a myth, right?  It is a serious affliction.  As my kids age, I get progressively dumber.  I am serious.  Okay, I was the stupidest right after Sophie was born, but man...that no-sleep fog you get with a newborn DOESN'T GO AWAY!  You know when they list all the things birth control protects against?  This should be one of them.  You will not be nearly as dumb if you don't have kids.
At least in my case.  If you haven't experienced this, i don't want to hear about it.  So pfffbt.
Which brings me to this.  I started playing Words with Friends on facebook...do you people all cheat or something?!  I have often played Scrabble with my family, and maybe its just because I'm playing against a 9 year old most of the time, but I thought I was alright at it.  But no. I suck big time at WWF.  I can't seem to win.  When its my turn to come up with a word, I will sit here and try to rummage through the recesses of my noggin to try to come up with something and all I find are dust, recipes, and the lyrics to all the songs on Elmo in Grouchland.  Its a tad frustrating.  My memory (okay, this is ridiculous...I typed "momory") is not great.  And by not great, I mean its pretty crappy. I have to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN on a to-do list for the day or chances are, it won't get done. I like to pretend that I'm just really organized, but that's bull.  I'm forgetful! I have mom brain.
The upside to this, though, is that even though I'm losing these games, I feel like its exercising my brain at least a little.  I'm not just reading directions for cooking something, or scanning the netflix guide to find an episode of Dora, or taping a bandaid around the pink crayon because its broken.  I'm using a different part of my brain, and that at least feels good.
Of course, now I can't remember what I was going to do instead of typing this...

The good life

I posted a status the other day on facebook askin for ideas of things I could do to earn money from home.  I said the reason I can't really have a traditional job out of the home is because of our schedule with Gavin.  I've had people ask me about that, and so I thought maybe I'd elaborate a little.  While I figure most people shouldn't care, because we are of course adults, who can make our own decisions, I know other people (family included!) who have expressed concern over us not making very much money, yet still living on only one income. 
In today's world, material things seem to be a high priority.  People think they need things to survive that really, if you took a look at it, are definitely luxuries.  I know there are people who absolutely need to have both parents working full time jobs to make it day to day, and these people are awesome -- because I can't imagine doing this full time job of being a stay at home mom on top of a full time (or even part time for that matter) outside the home job.  If it was necessary, I would do it.  But since I'm not in that situation, I can't imagine what it would be like.  Being a mom is tough. 
If our situation was a little different, who knows what I would be doing.  If we only had Sophie, maybe I'd be working.  Even then, as Ernie and I have discussed, the majority of my salary would most likely be going toward daycare for her.  Something that doesn't seem to make all that much sense...seeing as how neither of us has a college degree, we don't have unlimited earning potential (kids, stay in school!!!).  However, we don't just have Sophie.  We have Gavin, too, who is a huge blessing but also takes some juggling with schedules. :)  We have Gavin 5 days at a time, which of course includes some school days.  I drive out to pick him up, and on school days, I take him to school and pick him up when school is over.  This has me driving around at different hours, and its a good thing I can because Ernie wouldn't be able to do it with work.  If I were to get a job outside the home, where would that leave us with Gavin?  Sure, Sophie could be easily covered in daycare during working hours (not an attractive option, but not impossible).  But the reality of the situation is that we would be reduced to having Gavin every other weekend, and that is it. 
That's not acceptable to us. 
We do struggle to get by...as most people seem to be doing.  While some people have acted as if we are poor decision makers for living on a small amount and letting me stay home and "do nothing", I just say we have far different priorities.  Are our priorities different than others in this 'day and age'?  Probably.  In order of importance to Ernie and I are:

1) God
2) Spouse
3) Children
4) Others

Material possessions and money are much farther down the list. :)  Is it hard to go without some things? Yeah, definitely.  Our culture shoves so much in your face that its easy to think "oooh, I want that".  But would it be harder to go without such a huge part of our family (our sweet little Gavin)? 100% yes!  I will take penny pinching and coupon clipping and going without 'necessities' like fancy phones, and TV, and new cars, and vacations, etc. to have our family be able to spend time together. 
No amount of money in the world would make it okay for us to give up the life we have now.

Late night adventure

Okay, sorry I didn't update more about my late night hospital visit.  My sleep has been all thrown off so I have been just in zombie mode around here for the weekend.
Friday night I stayed up with Ernie since he was off work, and didn't go to bed until about 1:30.  I was laying there reading and my chest started hurting.  I have had that problem before so I sat up, hoping it wasn't going to be like the other times.  But it got worse -- the worst part about that is, I start having huge amounts of anxiety about it because I haven't yet figured out why I have these chest pains, so on top of the regular pain, I have panic attack pain.  I start thinking in my head that I'm going to die.  Well this time the pain was worse, so I actually woke Ernie up and asked him if I should call 911.  The thought of this scares me WAY worse because I don't have medical insurance and I know how expensive the ambulance bill would be on top of the hospital bill.  Instead, after a while Ernie decided he was worried enough about me that he was taking me to St. Peters.  (One downside of living out here...no hospital in town!)  So at about 3am Ernie got Sophie up out of bed and we made the drive in.  It was no fun. However, once we got there, it was quite a bit different from our other experiences with the ER...just mention chest pain, and you get in right away!! 
I had an EKG done, chest x-rays, and blood drawn.  Most of the time I just laid on a gurney and had my heart monitored.  They pretty much treated it as a heart attack coming in -- gave me the aspirin and all that.  Which is really scary.  I'm 28 years old.  The good news was, my EKG was perfect, my blood pressure is low as usual, and my cardiac enzymes and chest x-ray were just fine.  The only abnormality was elevated white blood cells.  Basically, they don't know why I'm having the pains.  Which sucks...I would like to get it figured out so I know what it is and how to prevent it!!  They have been a ton better since we started eating paleo, so I feel like grains/wheat/fried stuff may have something to do with it, but there's been no definite answer as to what is going on.  Its kind of scary knowing these 'attacks' can still happen even with our change in lifestyle with our eating and all that. I thought I had it figured out and I would never have them again!  I also have a *ton* of anxiety about getting the hospital bill in the mail, but we will just cross that bridge when we get there.  I am trying to control the anxiety I have, worrying about having more of these pains.  They were about a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10, and the most pain I ever had in labor with Sophie was maybe a 6 or 7 to me.  So, I don't know really how to handle pain like that!  Especially when I have no reason for why its happening.  Its really scary!  Am I dying?  Am I having a heart attack?  I don't know at the moment its happening so its pretty hard to deal with.  The good news is, its gone now, I'm not having a heart attack in my 20s...
Another awesome part was how WONDERFULLY my daughter behaved in the ER at 3 am!  I fully expected a 3 year old who got woken up in the middle of the night to be grumpy and clingy and all of that.  And then to have to wait in the waiting room forever, I would expect whining.  But she did none of that.  It was like an adventure to her!  She got to wear her pjs out, and Ernie took her to the vending machines and got her orange juice and a bag of cookies.  She had a great time!  He even laid down on one of the couches and she sat quietly in a chair and looked at a book and played with her babies.  What a good girl!! She made it so much LESS stressful than it could have been.  She even told me "we're gonna take care of you mama." Awww.
I would appreciate prayers for me while I try to figure out what the heck is happening to make me have these!